Whom do you miss?

Who are the ones who have touched your life and now are gone?

For me the list is long and more than a little sad.

JFK, Harry Chapin, Don Drysdale, John Lennon to name a few.

There is my best friend from high school, Bill Jett, who found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time: Vietnam, 1965.

There are grandparents, classmates, cousins, parents, colleagues...good friends never to be seen again.

Such maudlin musing has value. It comes in the reminder of how precious life is and how foolish it can be to take this truth for granted.

"If only..." must be the most common exclamation made in the face of death’s arrival.

"If only I had a little more time...known sooner...been a better parent...done a little more...gone a little further...if only..."

We will not appreciate life until we acknowledge death. The undeniable reality that not only we but all those we love and admire, will one day die should serve as a clarion call to each of us to live this day fully.

It was that wise old sage, Nikita Krushchev, who said, "Life is short; live it up." Now he’s dead, too. Hope he followed his own advice.

Speaking of advice, some of the best came recently from a spiritual guide of mine and many, Thich Nhat Hahn. He suggests a very practical meditation to encourage us not to take our friends and lovers for granted. He calls it "Hugging Meditation" and it is a rather simple exercise but with extraordinary rewards.

When you hug your friend, hold them close and breathe deeply. As you do, say to yourself, "I hold you in my arms and I am very happy."

Next, slowly breathe again and this time imagine your friend being hugged without you there...for you are dead. Breathe again and this time focus your imagination on what it will be like not having your friend in your arms...for he is dead.

Finally, another breath as you repeat, "I hold you in my arms and I am very happy."

Such a brief exercise is a wonderful way of being reminded of the value of living in the present moment. It is a value that can only be understood in the shadow of death.