We all can think of examples of how we have sought to avoid the pain of life. Sometimes it is as simple as not saying goodbye to someone moving away. It hurts to see a relationship end and so we avoid it. Perhaps in our marriage we have chosen not to confront the problems that exist. They are too painful to address...and what happens?

We avoid the pain but we destroy the relationship.

Maybe we disagree with something our pastor has said but rather than confront her, we decide to stay away from church. The unpleasantness of confrontation is avoided but, of course, so is the pleasure of a relationship.

To live fully is to enter into both the pleasure and the pain of existence. For Jesus and for those who profess to be Christians, life takes on meaning not by just breathing, not just by earning a living or experiencing sensual pleasure. Life becomes meaningful only when we give our lives away. Only when we are willing to become vulnerable to others, only when we screw up the courage to enter into the lives of neighbor, friend or foe and seek to love them, do our lives find real meaning.

Only when we pick up a cross and die, do we really live.

I do not know what your cross or crosses may be but I will suggest that if you find yourself avoiding something desperately that is a pretty good clue. If saying, "I’m sorry" or "You’re forgiven" is terribly difficult, you are probably close to discovering your cross.

I know that in my own life, the things I spend the most energy avoiding are generally the very things I need most certainly to confront.