The kindergarten-age grandson of a friend of mine recently startled his family by responding to the oft-asked question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" with a very honest reply.

"A virgin." is what he said.

Of course, the parents and grandparents were pleased if a little nonplussed. After all, in this day and age such a lofty goal was worthy of admiration and encouragement. Nevertheless, they did decide to inquire a bit further into this vocational dream.

"And why a virgin, exactly?", asked the curious mother.

Without a moment’s hesitation the little boy volunteered, "Because I want to do operations in a hospital and make people feel better!"

Uh-hem. Why, yes, of course.

His unintentional humor set me to thinking of the myriad of ways we adults often misuse language as well.

Hopefully. Could there be a more abused word in the English language? How often do we hear someone say something along the lines of, "He’ll get here by morning, hopefully." Is that what they really mean? Do they really intend to say, "He’ll get here by morning filled with hope"? Or would it be more accurate to their intentions to say, "I hope he will get here by morning."

And it is not just the misuse of particular words that has us failing to communicate well. The overuse of particular terms can do the same. There is a favorite four-letter epithet that I have heard used in virtually every syntactical form...as noun, verb, adjective, pronoun, adverb, preposition, predicate, you name it. Its use, I suppose, might even be admired by those who see it as a creative process utilizing very limited resources. By and large, however, I think it communicates more about the speaker than what the speaker is trying to communicate.

Then there are those incidents when we use a particular word intending to convey something very different. As in the time when Vladimir Horowitz met President Herbert Hoover. The great pianist, who always had a little trouble with his adopted country’s language, bowed and said, "I am delightful." He may very well have been but that isn’t what he had hoped to impart to the leader of the free world.

Another friend of mine recently told me that she was getting fat "from eating all her words". A wonderful way of expressing how often we must humbly recant what we once so passionately said. I remember the Welsh proverb, "Better one word before than two after." Carefully choosing our words is a discipline more of us could employ to our great benefit. A word once spoken cannot be erased. More than a few relationships have been irreparably damaged by the careless use of language.

The French have a word that might be of help as we seek to more effectively communicate. The word is comprendre, which means, of course, to comprehend. Com means to be one and prendre means to take or grasp. To understand something then means to take it and become one with it. Such an understanding of language calls us to a more careful and diligent approach in our use of words. Choose them carefully.

There is an old Zen story that tells of an encounter between the Buddha and a philosopher. The philosopher asked, "I have heard that Buddhism is a doctrine of enlightenment. What is your method? What do you practice every day?" The Buddha responded, "We walk, we eat, we wash ourselves, we sit down..." The philosopher quickly retorted, "What is so special about that? Everyone walks, eats, washes, sits down.." "Yes", said the Buddha, "but when we walk we are aware that we are walking, when we eat, we are aware that we are eating...". Often our use of language sadly indicates that we are not really aware of what we are saying.

A final word or two on the power and importance of carefully chosen language. This from William Ward: "Little keys can open big locks. Simple words can express great thoughts."